also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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