So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
