Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
