When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
