Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Shame - the story of my life.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
