She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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