4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
