You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
