i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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