no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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