so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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