dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
