just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
