she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
