"it" just moved
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
