he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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