wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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