I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
