she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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