Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
We smell like vodka and hangover
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