Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
its liver damage thursday
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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