i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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