It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
