We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
