oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
