Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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