We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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