Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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