absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
