So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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