...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
