im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Randomize