Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
