dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
