My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
