I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
