with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
