i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
