two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
