why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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