i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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