the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
