11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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