I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just cropdusted the office
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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