tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
