well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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