I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
