You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
