My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
