I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
