if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
