I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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