using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
All I want is dick and wine.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
